Painting With God

I’ve been telling this story so often I figured I’d put it in a blog and tell everyone at once. 

My painting has become a very interesting experience....to say the least!  It’s taken me a while to realize, and accept that God is in charge.  Every now and then I forget that particular fact and try to go ahead on my own.  This painting is a perfect example of having to “let go and let God”. 

I started it months ago, not long after moving the studio to my home.  It’s a fairly large canvas (36x48) and I hung it on the wall feeling sure of what I wanted to paint.  My idea was to paint people...lots of people...coming from the light in different directions...walking toward the dark and having the artist’s paint brush light their torches.  My idea/message was that art gives light to the world.  A pretty good concept, I thought.

So, I painted a frame on the canvas and sketched the artist’s arm and palette.  Then I stopped.  I sat for weeks looking at that painting, not quite sure how to begin.  The picture I had in my mind kept fluctuating and I couldn’t see it clearly.  Eventually, after hearing my students ask numerous times, “What are you going to paint?”, I took it off the wall, put it away and forgot about it.

A few weeks ago my desire to finish the painting was renewed so I took it out of storage and again hung it on the wall.  This time I didn’t hesitate.  I figured it was time to follow my own advice and jump right in.  Things were moving along pretty well, I thought...until I saw the green and suddenly knew I didn’t want to use green. 

Once again, I stopped and spent days looking at it.  This poem was a result:

The Painting - Not Now

I look at my painting
on the wall
and wonder why
I don’t feel at all
like painting what
I once saw.

I can still see
what I thought
it would be.
Is it meant to be different?
Or is the change
in me?

I’d set it aside
months ago
when I wasn’t sure
how it should flow;
decided to wait
until I know.

So I hung it there
and started anew,
painting the landscape
in shades of blue.
Then green appeared
and again I knew

this painting’s time
isn’t now
for the brush I hold
knows not how
and I have to wait
til it me allows.

I accepted the fact my idea wasn’t going to work, so off the wall it came and back into storage. 
That night, in that space just before sleep, I had a very clear picture of how the painting was to be painted.  After a brief discussion with myself as to whether I wanted to sleep or get up and paint in the wee hours of the morning, I knew there would be no sleep for me.  God was back in charge.  I put the painting back on the wall and spent the next hour or so painting the picture I’d seen in my mind.  It was after 3:00 am when I finally made it back to my bed and am still wondering if I got more than an hour’s sleep that night. 

I have to tell you, I took my time with this one and painted it slowly and in stages....always trying to listen to the Spirit’s direction and trusting in my ability to follow.  I have to admit, I like God’s idea a lot better than mine.

Lighting the Light

(oil and acrylic)