It's the I AM

There is something special about this last third of our lives. Most of us have finished with struggling to get ahead, or simply survive. Our children are grown and have left the nest. We might even decide we don't need so big a nest and downsize to a more simple dwelling.

We might buy a camper and decide to see the country... maybe a couple of kayaks for lazy days on the river... or invest in a drum or two and join a drum circle. We share in discussions with like-minded people and yes, we might even sign up for painting classes! Adventure and freedom are in the air. We shed ourselves of unnecessary baggage and excitedly step ahead into the yet unexplored.

There is time now to relax and enjoy and as we do, we're reminded of something... something which has always been a part of us... something we may not have taken the time to see, feel and know. This 'something' has always called to us and now... now we find ourselves longing for that 'something' which has no name... that 'something' which manifests in a constant underlying yearning.

It's a yearning which drives us to seek. Our seeking has a tendency to make us look outside of ourselves and leads to new experiences of other people and places. Then, one day, something happens and we realize what we've been looking for "out there" has always been "in here" and has since our very beginning.

But how do we access it?  How can we see?  How can we find that which has lain hidden within the deep recesses of ourselves?

We are a world populated by 'wanna be' mystics... the yearning within us so strong we cannot keep from seeking.  It may 'sleep' for many years and we may push it aside as something we don't have time for... but it is there. It has always been there and it makes itself known. Once we recognize it for what it is... the yearning for oneness with God... we must respond to it. We have no choice!

Yes, I know. We always have a choice... but choosing not to respond to that ache within will make us miserable. It will always be there. Calling...

As a mother reaches out and pulls her child to her breast, holding it close in soothing comfort, so it is with God:

" Come to me. Rest in me. Let me hold you in my arms so you come to feel and know the love I have for you. Yes, I send you others to love and who love you. How else would you come to know Love?  But human love is only a taste of the totality of the love I have for you.

Now, my dear ones... though you have always had my love, you have not realized the magnificent all-encompassing power of it. Now is the time. Now I call you to me. I call you to recognize and know me as the pure Love that I AM. Then you will see and know I AM in all others as I AM in you!

Peace be with you, my friends!
Connie

Seeking.....and Finding

Yesterday... or last night... I may have been awake... or asleep.  Maybe both.  I realized I am remembering things planted in my memory banks since the beginning of time.  I am remembering what I knew as a child.  I am remembering the God-self I have always known.

I am realizing that much... not all... of my religious training was not necessary in coming to know God.  I did not need to know the doctrines and laws of organized religious denominations.  In fact, I now spend time unlearning much of what I’ve been taught.  I find it interesting that I have spent years... decades... in search of the knowledge which already exists deep within myself.  I am realizing... in this last third of my life... how important the remembering is... and how difficult it sometimes is to reconcile that remembering with some of the “religion” I’ve been taught.  So much unnecessary baggage!

Yes, I know you might disagree... and I’m not putting down organized religion.  I have experienced much in my search: I was raised Methodist but never felt truly comfortable... so spent my college years (and beyond) experiencing various denominations.  I won’t list them here.  Suffice it to say I didn’t miss much... not even Quakerism.  My conversion to Catholicism and entrance into the religious community of the Sisters of St Joseph pretty much completed my search.  I thought.  Yet here I am, more than 40 years later, still searching... but in a much different way.

We are told by Jesus, “Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God...”(Matthew 6:33)
But where is the kingdom?  Is it out there somewhere in the universe?  Is it another planet, another world?  I imagine the Disciples had similar questions.  But then Jesus was more specific,
“... the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21)

Well, I thought... If the kingdom of God is within me, it is also within you!  The kingdom of God is within everyone!  If that’s true, I thought... and I believe it is... I reasoned, if God is love, (I John 4:8) then the kingdom of God is the kingdom of love and God, as love, is within each and every one of us!

I love the remembering.  I love going within myself and growing in the knowledge of the God (Love) living there. I am not only seeking, my dear friends!  I am finding!

Light, Love and Joy to you!

Bringing Gifts to the Table

A picture came into my mind the other day and it has continued to present itself.  When this happens, as it sometimes does, I take it as a sign it is to be shared... either in paint or in words.  As I haven’t been able to figure out how to visually represent this, I resort to painting it for you here in words.

Picture, if you will, a very large room.  A very long table with chairs on either side stretches down its center.  As I see it in the beginning, the room is empty but for the table and chairs.  Then the lights come on, the door opens, and people of many nationalities, religions and denominations enter, gradually filling the waiting chairs.  Each person caries a box or container which glows with a light coming from within.  As they take their places, they carefully place the object on the table in front of them, keeping it within the circle of their hands. 

Then, as if on cue, each reaches into their container and reverently lifts out what seems to be a ball of light, raising it high in thanksgiving.  I can’t help but notice how the light now seems to envelop each one, radiating outward until the entire room is filled with it.

The Ancient One, at the head of the table, stands and addresses the gathering, “Welcome, everyone!  We are all so glad you could come and bring your gifts with you.  As you may have noticed, as many gifts as there are, each one is different.  Each holds great importance.  We have come together today to share our gifts with one another because our world needs the power your sharing brings.  It is only through the sharing of our gifts that humanity will grow in the knowing of love.”

I looked around the room, my gaze moving from face to face, and was suddenly aware that as different as we all were, everyone heard and understood all that was said. 

The Ancient One stretched out his arms to include all and though it seemed impossible, made eye contact with each person at once.  Each one, then, pushed their gifts to the center of the table until they all were as one great light encompassing us all.  There was great power in that room and it filled each and every one of us.

I wonder if we know our gifts... if we realize their value.  It’s taken me a long time to recognize and accept the fact that I do have gifts.  The “I am not worthy” thing was so ingrained I was blind to seeing and knowing all God gives me.  I even came to realize that what I always considered to be my greatest faults were actually my greatest gifts.  The thing is, we are worthy...  for God has deemed us worthy.  Would we have been given these gifts if we were not?

We have many of the same gifts but in different proportions and strengths...   

“To each person has been given the ability to manifest the Spirit for the common good.  To one has been given a message of wisdom by the Spirit; to another the ability to speak with knowledge according to the same Spirit;  to another faith by the same Spirit; to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit; to another miraculous results; to another prophecy; to another the ability to distinguish between spirits; to another various kinds of languages; and to another the interpretation of languages.  But one and the same Spirit produces all these results and gives what he wants to each person.” (1Corinthians 12:7-11)

These gifts have been a part of us since our beginning.  Our struggle has been to discover and utilize all we are given.  May we continue to discover these gifts within ourselves, bring them to the table and share them with all!

God bless!
Connie

Are We Pharisees or Disciples?

I read in the news this morning how the Methodist Church is instituting a ban against LGBTs, making it a punishable act for any minister to marry a same-gender couple.  They are also saying there is no place for homosexual ministers within the Church.  On reading this, my first reaction was one of anger and indignation... which eventually gave way to a very deep sadness.  Are they truly going to judge others solely on the basis of their sexuality?

Jesus did not judge.  He loved and accepted people for who they were.

I shake my head in sorrow and disbelief at what organized Christian religion is becoming.  How does one preach words of love from the pulpit while living a message of non-acceptance... even hatred?  How sad it is that church leaders... those who have dedicated their lives to follow Jesus... to live the Gospel... are more like the Pharisees than Disciples.

 “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14)

How much easier it is to foster hate than love!  Instead of standing strong in living and encouraging others in the two commandments set forth by Jesus, they resort to making their own laws... and sow the seeds of hatred.

I am a Christian.  I am also part Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Ba-Hai, etc.  All religions are part of who I am but the one I follow is Jesus.  We are all one family, sharing the one father, God.  Every human being... every living, breathing thing... is related.  We all have God’s DNA within us.  We are all brothers and sisters regardless of our differences.  We may not agree with one another and that’s okay but it is not up to us to judge them.

One day I voiced my annoyance concerning my brother to Mom.  Concerned about a possible rift, she asked, “Why don’t you love your brother?”

“Oh, Mom!” I responded.  “I do love my brother.  It’s just that sometimes I don’t like him very much.”  She nodded her head in understanding.

The thing is, Jesus doesn’t tell us we are to like one another.  His commandment is that we love one another.  That doesn’t mean we have to agree with all they say and do.  How boring that would be!  But... we are called to love and acceptance.

One thing about human nature... a thing we often forget... is that, often what we dislike in another, we dislike in ourselves.  It is the reflection of that part of ourselves we wish wasn’t there and try to ignore.  So what so we do?  We point to the other... lash out at the one who is different... hoping no one sees the differences within us.  When we can accept and love ourselves as God’s children, we will accept and love others as part of our family of ONE.  We are all perfect in the eyes of God.  Our idea of perfection is not the same as God’s.  Who are we to judge others?

As one who was raised Methodist and converted to Catholicism, I have an interest in both denominations.  I am ashamed of the actions of those who have strayed so far away from Jesus’ teachings.  Why is church membership dwindling?  Why are many... especially the youth... not attending?  Because of the hypocrisy... the negativity... the duplicity. 

Are we lost in the darkness?  If we are, it is only because we are blind to the presence of the light... for it illuminates our way. 

Regardless of a church’s man made laws, each individual person will have to come to terms with who they, themselves, are.  That’s where they have to stand... and stand strong.

We are family!
Connie

It's Almost Here!

I love Spring!  I love seeing the trees budding in that beautiful yellow-green... the same color I get when I mix cerulean blue with cadmium yellow light.  It’s no wonder it’s my favorite green!  I love watching the light reflecting off each upturned baby leaf... a raised open hand waiting to receive.  There is something about a warm spring day after winter’s cold that we, too, stand with faces and hands upturned to the warmth of the sun.

I am filled with a peace and calmness, losing myself in the smells and sounds of earth’s re-awakening.  There is peace in my soul, a song in my heart and I sing as one with all.  As I sit here soaking up the sun’s warmth, I can hear the grass and fluttering leaves speak in whispers with the breeze.  Budding blossoms and flowers fill my senses as I drink in their beauty through both eyes and nose.  I am filled to overflowing.

Sometimes I think about painting all I see, hear and feel... and I have often tried... but there is no way I could possibly capture it all.  It is much better, I think, to simply sit here and absorb it all until I am one with the earth and all its gifts.

We humans have a tendency to forget that the earth doesn’t need us... we need the earth and its many gifts.  We have been appointed as its caretakers and protectors and every once in a while it’s important... imperative... we take the time to reconnect and be appreciative of all we receive.

If the soil is not tilled, seeds not planted and plants not watered or tended, there will be no harvest but if everyone takes care of their own little piece, we will continue to receive all the life-giving gifts our earth has to offer. 

I am grateful for all I receive from nature... both life sustaining and soul sustaining food.  The least I can do is show my appreciation by doing my part.

Love, Light and Joy to you all as you enjoy this transition from death to life... Winter to Spring! 
Remember... We need the earth.  It doesn’t need us.

Connie

Everything Blooms in Spring!

There’s a few feet of snow... temperatures plummet to below freezing... and my cousin, Sally, is busy planting seeds and potting plants.  Plants delivered in the snow are being given new life in the warmth of her greenhouse.  It’s not easy work and many hands are needed but there are no words to express how seeing the first tiny bud makes one feel.

I look at my azaleas in full bloom, the tiny buds appearing on the crepe myrtle and the abundance of beautiful wild flowers in our yards and along our roads.  There is new birth and beauty everywhere I look!  Mother nature is springing forth after her long winter’s sleep with new growth celebrated by the profusion of colorful blossoms and bright shades of green!

Isn’t it interesting how a tiny flower can contain so much beauty and be so powerful as to lift our souls.  We become aware that this simple beauty enters and fills us until we, too, bloom forth with smiles of happiness and joy!  There’s an extra spring in our step and we exude the simple joy of experiencing our oneness with all of nature and mankind.

In our gardens it’s time to prune the old dead branches, make room for new growth.  The same is true of ourselves.  The message given us by mother nature is not an easy one.  We are told, like the flowers, to allow our inner beauty to grow and blossom... to put aside... let go... of all that is old and dead.  Perhaps we haven’t done that for a while.  Perhaps we’ve held onto memories and thoughts which no longer serve us... keeping our growth smothered... struggling to bloom in spite of the weeds we’ve allowed to continue growing.

We need to prune ourselves right along with our trees and bushes.  The woodbine is impossible to pull for its roots twine around the roots of my azaleas and jasmine bushes.  It must be cut back as close to the ground as possible or it will smother my bushes and the bees, birds and I would be deprived of their beauty.

I have a weed much like that woodbine within myself.  It’s a part of me I don’t like and it grows without my noticing.  Sometimes I have to consciously look for it so I can keep cutting it back.   There are other weeds as well but most are not so hardy and stubborn as this one.

Isn’t is interesting, too, that the season of Lent coincides with the new birth of Spring?   A reminder that, as we tend to mother nature’s garden, we also must tend to the garden within ourselves.

We are an integral part of God’s garden.   In this wonderful season of Spring, may we all rise from our winter’s sleep and grow and bloom as God intends for us to grow and bloom!   Open your arms wide to the warmth of the sun.  Dance in the rain.  Grow!!

Love, Light and Joy to all!
Connie

Some Dreams are Prophetic Messages

I am one who keeps pen and paper near my bed so that when something important “comes through” I can get up and write it down.  I can’t tell you how many times I told myself  I’d remember it in the morning and, unwilling to get up, rolled over and gone back to sleep.  Needless to say, I never remembered it in the morning.   

However, I do admire people who remember their dreams so when a friend wanted to share a dream she had with me I was all ears.  

“I am walking through the woods.  It is a wild wood, thick with branches and the path barely visible.  A shining, golden long haired dog walks in front of me, leading the way.  The path lights up beneath its feet and becomes clear with each step it takes.  The dog leads me to a door, stops, stands aside and speaks to me,  ‘You are to walk through the door.’ ”

When my friend told me of her dream I saw it as clearly as she had and was reminded of something I’d recently seen on Facebook about these last few days of February.  It had stayed with me because I was certainly experiencing some of the symptoms:

This morning during my prayer I heard that in the next few days we would be walking on that path and would soon find that door in front of us.  

I saw, in my meditation, no opening of a door because the door itself suddenly was not there.  It appeared as an open doorway through which I saw a blinding light with intermittent waves of soft glowing colors.  I stood in awe in that doorway as the Light called to me... pulled me into itself.  In stepping over the threshold, I fell into it... was enveloped in it... lifted by it... filled with it.  I am one with it.  The Light is the Christ.

We will each, in being guided along our own path, come to our own doorway.  In walking through that door, I promise you... You too will become one with the Light.  You too will know the Christ in yourself and recognize the Christ in others.

Together we walk in the Light of the Christ.

I am reminded of Paul Ferrini’s book, I Am the Door and in my mind, clearly hear Jesus’ voice saying He is, indeed, the door. (John 10:9)

With Love, Light and Joy,
Connie