There are times...nostalgic times....when I really miss being a part of the Community of the Sisters of St. Joseph. As a result, I’ve been searching...seeking...for some kind of ‘community’... a community where prayer and the sharing of God is a priority. This is the main reason for my enquiry into the Associates of St. Francis. Yet, in my heart, I seemed to know...though I persisted... becoming an Associate isn’t the answer.
I’ve been praying for discernment...for God to tell me where to go... what to do. His response, as usual, has been in the whispers of things. I only needed eyes to see, ears to hear and that required my settling long enough in His presence to be able to put the bits and pieces together.... things I found myself telling others as well as them telling me. I was so busy seeking...looking at the ‘other side of the fence’...I couldn’t see and appreciate what was right in front of me.
One of the things leading to my understanding was in the statement I made to a friend, "It's funny...I keep seeking and looking for the road I'm meant to travel and then realize I've been on it right along."
But even in making that admission, though I recognized its truth, I hadn’t come to a full realization. It’s taken the responses of others, their sharing of their love and their God to make me realize I am indeed a part of a community... a community, not of my making nor a result of my seeking, but a community God has brought together and made an integral part of my life... a community which continues to grow in the Spirit and in number... and I grow with it.
We never know where our path will lead but when we walk with God, it will always take us where we’re meant to go.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
Anticipation
This is a busy time for us all, filled with shopping, wrapping, baking, cleaning. I reach a point when I want to call out in frustration, "Stop already! Give me a chance to catch up. Let me have some time to prepare myself along with preparing everything else." Well, I did have some of that precious time the other day and my conversation with God went something like this:
‘Lord, I keep seeking and the one I seek is You."
"Be patient, Connie. Wait just a little longer. I’m coming."
I was as a child sitting on a ledge, my feet swinging to and fro above the ground, filled with expectation and fidgeting with anticipation.
"I know you are" I told Him. "I try to be patient and I look for distractions to make the time go by more quickly. But I don’t want any distractions. I just want to sit here and wait. I don’t want to miss your coming."
God laughed. "You won’t miss it, Connie. You’re invited to my birthday party."
"Oh," I exclaimed excitedly, "but what shall I bring?"
"You don’t have bring anything but yourself. I’ll be giving to you."
I think we’re all a little like children at Christmas....filled with expectation and anticipation. Excitement hangs in the air as the day draws near. The house looks festive, the shopping’s done, the presents wrapped and placed beneath the tree...some are meant for me.
Yet, the gift I want... the one I seek... is not wrapped in gayly colored paper. It’s the gift God promised me. It’s the gift of Himself...the gift of love, of joy, of peace.
This is the one true gift we receive at His birthday party...the gift we share with one another.
May God bless you all! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Jesus!
‘Lord, I keep seeking and the one I seek is You."
"Be patient, Connie. Wait just a little longer. I’m coming."
I was as a child sitting on a ledge, my feet swinging to and fro above the ground, filled with expectation and fidgeting with anticipation.
"I know you are" I told Him. "I try to be patient and I look for distractions to make the time go by more quickly. But I don’t want any distractions. I just want to sit here and wait. I don’t want to miss your coming."
God laughed. "You won’t miss it, Connie. You’re invited to my birthday party."
"Oh," I exclaimed excitedly, "but what shall I bring?"
"You don’t have bring anything but yourself. I’ll be giving to you."
I think we’re all a little like children at Christmas....filled with expectation and anticipation. Excitement hangs in the air as the day draws near. The house looks festive, the shopping’s done, the presents wrapped and placed beneath the tree...some are meant for me.
Yet, the gift I want... the one I seek... is not wrapped in gayly colored paper. It’s the gift God promised me. It’s the gift of Himself...the gift of love, of joy, of peace.
This is the one true gift we receive at His birthday party...the gift we share with one another.
May God bless you all! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
God's Soup
When I saw that some of my sixth graders had a tendency to pick on or ostracize someone who was a little different, I’d bring to discussion the idea of God making soup. "If you were to make soup," I’d ask, "what ingredient would you want to put into it?" As they called out their responses I listed them on the blackboard for them to see. Usually they mentioned their favorite vegetables or meats.
"What about the broth?" I’d ask. "How would you make the broth?"
One child would invariably raise their hand and call out, "You have to start with water to cook everything together."
"And add seasonings," another would offer.
I’d then ask whether the vegetables and meat should be fresh and their response was always a definite "yes". Once they had the pot of soup simmering in their minds, I pointed out that it took all of those things to make a good tasting soup.
"Now," I’d say, "think about how boring it would be if only one or two ingredients were used...how it takes all of these different things, cooking together to make a delicious pot of soup. Then think about how different we all are and how we’re all a necessary part of God’s soup.
Invariably one might call out, "I’m a carrot, " expecting a laugh from the others. (There’s always at least one). I’d simply smile and say, "I hope you’re a fresh carrot and enjoying the company of the corn and peas because we’re all part of the soup."
One of the great things about teaching kids is that I too am reminded of how we are all different and our differences necessary to the "flavor" of life.... of how we are all part of God’s wonderful soup... of how He provides the living water in which we all simmer. Not too bad an analogy, I think.
It bothers me that there is so much judgment....that we (and I include myself) have a tendency to judge others just because they’re "different". When I realize I’m being pulled into that trap, I fall back on what someone once told me, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." That simple phrase helps me step back and take stock of myself and how I respond to others. (That could be me.) Then there’s "Judge not, lest you be judged." (Matthew 7:1-5).
Jesus gave us two commandments, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-38)
These are the only commandments we need to be part of God’s soup. No one wants or deserves our judgment.....only our love.
"What about the broth?" I’d ask. "How would you make the broth?"
One child would invariably raise their hand and call out, "You have to start with water to cook everything together."
"And add seasonings," another would offer.
I’d then ask whether the vegetables and meat should be fresh and their response was always a definite "yes". Once they had the pot of soup simmering in their minds, I pointed out that it took all of those things to make a good tasting soup.
"Now," I’d say, "think about how boring it would be if only one or two ingredients were used...how it takes all of these different things, cooking together to make a delicious pot of soup. Then think about how different we all are and how we’re all a necessary part of God’s soup.
Invariably one might call out, "I’m a carrot, " expecting a laugh from the others. (There’s always at least one). I’d simply smile and say, "I hope you’re a fresh carrot and enjoying the company of the corn and peas because we’re all part of the soup."
One of the great things about teaching kids is that I too am reminded of how we are all different and our differences necessary to the "flavor" of life.... of how we are all part of God’s wonderful soup... of how He provides the living water in which we all simmer. Not too bad an analogy, I think.
It bothers me that there is so much judgment....that we (and I include myself) have a tendency to judge others just because they’re "different". When I realize I’m being pulled into that trap, I fall back on what someone once told me, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." That simple phrase helps me step back and take stock of myself and how I respond to others. (That could be me.) Then there’s "Judge not, lest you be judged." (Matthew 7:1-5).
Jesus gave us two commandments, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-38)
These are the only commandments we need to be part of God’s soup. No one wants or deserves our judgment.....only our love.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Discernment
I’m not sure why I decided to start a new blog. For some reason I simply felt I should. Maybe because my journey will be taking me in a different direction? I can only guess at the answer to that question but for some reason I feel it’s another "new beginning". What better time for a new beginning than waiting during this Advent season for the birth of Christ and possibly... hopefully... a new birth within myself?
There’s a new reality show on Lifetime at 10:00 p.m. on Tuesdays called, The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns. It’s about five young women who are trying to discern whether a vocation in religious life is God’s will for them. What I find most interesting is not necessarily what they’re trying to discern....though that’s interesting....but their struggles in the discernment process.
Whenever I try to determine God’s will for me it’s a struggle. The reason it’s such a struggle, I think, is because I look so hard for the answers...as if they should appear just because I’m looking for them. It’s a bit like searching for something I can’t find. You know how that works. We rack our brain trying to figure out where it might be, moving things, looking under and behind, in every conceivable place until we finally give up the search. It’s only then, when I stop concentrating on the search, "give up" and leave it in God’s hands, the answers come to me. Discernment is a lot like that.
I went through one of these struggles fairly recently, having been challenged in regard to both my painting and my writing...and in my being challenged, questioned whether I was doing all God wanted me to do. Those questions led to a great deal of doubt and frustration. Was I doing all I could do? My pain in searching for answers was real. When I shared that pain with a friend, I was reminded I was trying too hard...which I often do... and that this was a time of waiting. God would make His will known when He’s ready. I’d asked the questions. Now I had to wait for, and be open to, the answers. Sometimes the answers come and they’re clear as a bell. Other times, the discernment process is necessary.
The fact is, discernment is always necessary...in every aspect of our lives.... if we wish to know, not what we wish for ourselves, but what God wants for us. Sometimes it’s the same thing... sometimes not... but discernment will only come through prayer and contemplation....by way of asking and listening...by communicating with God.
There’s a new reality show on Lifetime at 10:00 p.m. on Tuesdays called, The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns. It’s about five young women who are trying to discern whether a vocation in religious life is God’s will for them. What I find most interesting is not necessarily what they’re trying to discern....though that’s interesting....but their struggles in the discernment process.
Whenever I try to determine God’s will for me it’s a struggle. The reason it’s such a struggle, I think, is because I look so hard for the answers...as if they should appear just because I’m looking for them. It’s a bit like searching for something I can’t find. You know how that works. We rack our brain trying to figure out where it might be, moving things, looking under and behind, in every conceivable place until we finally give up the search. It’s only then, when I stop concentrating on the search, "give up" and leave it in God’s hands, the answers come to me. Discernment is a lot like that.
I went through one of these struggles fairly recently, having been challenged in regard to both my painting and my writing...and in my being challenged, questioned whether I was doing all God wanted me to do. Those questions led to a great deal of doubt and frustration. Was I doing all I could do? My pain in searching for answers was real. When I shared that pain with a friend, I was reminded I was trying too hard...which I often do... and that this was a time of waiting. God would make His will known when He’s ready. I’d asked the questions. Now I had to wait for, and be open to, the answers. Sometimes the answers come and they’re clear as a bell. Other times, the discernment process is necessary.
The fact is, discernment is always necessary...in every aspect of our lives.... if we wish to know, not what we wish for ourselves, but what God wants for us. Sometimes it’s the same thing... sometimes not... but discernment will only come through prayer and contemplation....by way of asking and listening...by communicating with God.
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