Digging My Ditch

Growing in the knowledge of God is sometimes very labor intensive.  This morning I compared it to my digging a ditch.  It takes work.
 
Sometimes the dirt is easy to remove.  It doesn’t weigh too much and doesn’t fall off the shovel as it’s being transferred.  Sometimes there is sand which slides off the shovel, insisting on returning to whence it came, requiring me to double my efforts.  Sometimes there are rocks which require me to dig around and pry them up with my shovel.  Some are larger than others and some I need help in the lifting and removing.

Some days I look back at the ditch I’ve dug and am proud of all I’ve done.  That pride is short-lived for in the morning, I find dirt and sand have returned to my beautifully dug ditch. The rain so sorely needed had washed the dirt so it sits again at the bottom, needing to be removed....a task much more difficult due to its new wet heaviness.  So I go back and clean out my ditch, fighting the discouragement which makes it even more difficult.

There are brighter times, I remind myself.  I smile when remembering the gopher who did half the digging with putting his tunnel along the direction of my ditch.  There are the times when someone helps me remove the huge rocks I cannot move by myself.  The hole they leave behind requires no digging.  There is the brightness of the day with the sun warm on my shoulders....the coolness of the breeze taking the sweat from my brow and filling my nostrils with the sweet scent of flowers.  There are those times I love digging my ditch!

There are times, too, when I want to throw down my shovel and walk away...telling myself I don’t need this ditch.  But then I realize I do.  I need to continue digging, no matter how labor intensive it might be.  This ditch is needed and I have been given the task of digging it...so I renew my resolve and continue to labor, knowing the reward is great.

Through the Window

The other day I shared in meditation with a friend.  It began but did not stop in that time, but has become ongoing...as meditations sometimes do...because God often has more to say and goes beyond the time I allot.  I’d like to share that meditation with you here...I don’t know why but then again, I am often led to do things without knowing the ‘why’.

To begin, I was led through the meditation to a window.  For me, it was a large picture window consisting of large panes of framed glass.  Through it, I saw a golden path saturated with light.  Rolling golden clouds and mist rose up, making the path itself barely distinguishable.  The light, the colors and the clouds were beautiful and inviting.  However, I had no desire at the time to go beyond the protection of the window. I interpreted what I’d seen as being the path to heaven and presumed the reason I did not go “outside” was because it wasn’t my time....though I did wonder at God's showing it to me.

What I saw through the window came into my mind again this morning.  This time, I saw more meaning than I had seen before.  It wasn’t just the path to heaven God was showing me....it wasn’t where it led that was important.  What was important was that I was walking it with Jesus.

I am now outside the window and on the path.  The golden clouds and the mist make it impossible for me to see where I’m going.  I can’t even see my feet.  So I hold tighter to Jesus’ hand as I become the child I am.  I’m not afraid.  In fact I kind of like the feel of these clouds against my skin. I laugh at how the mist tickles me as I dance along and how I can barely see my foot when I kick it into the air.

There is such beauty here on this path.  The light is so bright the clouds shine as each bit of their moisture reflects it in golden transparency.  Its beauty fills me until I feel I, too, shine with this light.
  
The clouds leave a wetness on my face and even as I touch it gently with my fingers, I realize it is more than moisture they leave behind.  It is tears.  It is the tears of all of those in pain.  Here in this place, Jesus shares with me the tears brought to Him in prayer. A lump comes into my throat and I look to him questioningly with tears in my own eyes.  No words are exchanged, Jesus simply smiles understandingly and nods his head.

I have no doubt there will be more and I will come to know in God’s own time and when I am ready.

God's Gift

I am only given a small understanding of God’s love, and though that understanding is minimal, I am filled with it to overflowing.  I have the desire to describe the indescribable, knowing that any words or metaphors I might use could never communicate the awesome wonder of God’s love.

Love travels through time and space connecting me to those I love as if they were sitting here next to me.  Then love brings them ever closer.  They share my heart and are part of my soul.  Life, death, time and distance mean nothing.  Love has no obstacles, no boundaries.  It goes where I send it  and brings itself back to me.

There are other gifts hidden in the giving and receiving of God’s love.  It’s a package full of surprises.  As I unwrap it, I find such awesome wonder, tears come to my eyes.  I sigh with happiness as I uncover the peace and the joy.  Then, as I dig deeper into the gift, I discover it gives me a strength beyond anything I’ve ever known.  I am struck with the knowledge there is nothing stronger, nothing more powerful.  With this gift, I can dispose of my fears, knowing love can never be conquered.

I realize, as I look at all God’s gift entails, that it is not just meant for me.  Yes, these wonderful gifts are mine but I am led to understand that I must share.  In my sharing with others, the gift within me will continue to grow.

What a marvelous gift God’s love is!  I could never ask for something more wonderful, more perfect than the love of God.